Autism
I was shown a picture of lots of different activities at a seaside. I was asked describe what was happening in the picture. So I described the individual activities. The fact that I did that instead of describing the larger picture as 'vacation' is evidence that im autistic. But those people could have lived at the coast, it might just be a saturday for them .. right? So the mark of _not_ being autistic, is to draw assumptions based on partial evidence? I joke, but also I dont really joke. I was at a training course for work and they were talking about the difference between big picture thinking and evidence based thinking - as though those two have no crossover. They show us a picture of stone henge and tell us to say what we notice about it. I get picked first: "it looks like the grass has recently been cut". Everyone laughs, its probably an odd thing to point out. Next person: "its summer solstice", very good, well done. But is it?? Why? "The sky is red". Yeah okay, I saw stonehenge and thought summer too, but nothing in the picture shows that. So I looked for evidence of summer - the grass is yellowed, parched? No its only a patch, the rest is quite dark and the stones appear to be damp, the yellow is probably some dead grass from having been cut - yes, the grass is short around the bottom of the stones and there seems to be some grass blades powdered to them, the grass has been cut, there is no evidence of it being solstice. Red sky and damp, its probably dawn. Back to the test, the theory is that someone with autism cant assess the outer context, or the big picture, in the first instance of thought (<200ms). But actually maybe that is what is happening to me if im dismissing the context as not proven, its coming later in my processing of what I am looking at 🤔 either way, whether the test works or not, those people could just live at the coast 😤
I haven't been diagnosed with autism. If this question comes across as entitled or ableist, I offer my sincere apology in advance. My wife thinks I'm autistic. Occasionally I wonder myself. What is involved in getting a diagnosis? If a diagnosis is acquired, what is the benefit? AFAIK there is no treatment, right? In fact, based on my reading on Lemmy, there may be downsides to being officially recognized (not due to the individual but due to the responses, especially by bureaucracy). If I am, the only downside in my life has been being shunned and referred to as weird. Maybe being unsure of how to respond to the loss of those close to me. My career has been excellent because of things related to my apparently unusual personality. Should I pursue this?
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.autism.place/post/476283 > I'm trying to see what we look like in NT settings from a 3rd person view. Most of the examples I know are shows about autism specifically, but I'm looking for a more natural NT setting type of thing. Edit: Looking for a normal show in which one of the main characters are autistic, but autism is not the central focus. My brain feels like it's gunked up lately, so having trouble explaining things. Like trying to run in a nightmare. iassgdgdsflsfd
I have been diagnosed with depression and ADD. I feel like a lot of their symptoms partially bleed over into autism. I am also incredibly anxious when it comes to social interactions. I feel like I have a decent amount of behavioural symptoms like getting upset when plans change, not liking when things are moved from where I put them, some sensory things (ex. the sound of velcro tearing, gloves rubbing against the skin at the base of my fingers, I hate making sound when I walk in public, and so on), self-stimming, getting really invested in certain niche topics, and avoiding eye contact. There are some parts where I don't feel like I match at all. I would say I'm better than most people at reading people's emotions. I am good with social cues and nonverbal communication. I just over think everything afterwards. Getting help for my depression and ADD was a lot of work and I felt like I essentially had to coach them into giving it to me so I'm just not sure if it would be worth the effort. The only benefit I could see is a better sense of self-identity but I already have a major case of imposter syndrome when it comes to what I've been diagnosed with and I feel like that would be even worse with autism due to the stigma that surrounds it. People saying "You don't have autism because we chitchat all the time at work" would feel like a real kick in the nuts. I have been able to force myself to mask or get over some of the issues I've mentioned above so far. Sorry if any of this seems improper. I really don't want to sound like someone who took a "What mental illness are you?" Buzzfeed-style quiz as a medical diagnosis or someone making unfair stereotypes.
A contact of mine suggested me to join a support group to find people with similar difficulties and talk to them. I found a group nearby, but I'm a bit reluctant to go. I can feel myself making up excuses as to why it would not be a good idea. - I don't feel like it would be helpful. - I will feel like they have even more severe issues than me and I can't relate. - It's a group with 10 people, so I feel like it's a bit too much for me. I feel like I will just let everybody else talk and be silent like usual. - I was a bit sick in the past weekend and I'm worried about making other people sick (even though it's kinda over) Anybody already went to a support group before, what was your experience?
I thought I ate something wrong, but I've been sick for more than 3 days now. Sneezing, nose completely blocked, coughing, vomiting, terrible sleep, muscle pain, stomachache and sharp headaches. It seems like my partner also got infected, because they started sneezing a day later. But I don't even really mind all this physical pain and discomfort. The thing that bothers me the most is that I'm completely useless. Unable to think properly apart from a few moments during the day. Sometimes even unable to talk or properly understand my partner. I can't even read or play a game or something because it quickly gives me a painful headache, and I don't enjoy anything at the moment anyway. Anyone have some strategies to cope with this? Seems to happen frequently when I get sick and I don't really know how to deal with it. And it seems like it also drags on quite long because I forget to eat enough, I don't seem to have enough energy to take care of myself (brushing, showering)
A howdy hello to everyone, Getting older has made me realize the deficits in my cooking skills. I was a very picky eater growing up, and started to widen my palate so that I wouldn’t be condemned to eating some form of bread with cheese for my entire life. I love fruits and vegetables, so there’s no problem here. Grains are a bit difficult because of their texture. I am completely dogshit at cooking. Whenever I try a new recipe, I either burn or undercook the food, resulting in about an hour wasted of poor planning. This may involve walking back and forth around the kitchen getting ingredients as needed, forgetting to do a step, or forgetting an ingredient that is sitting on the counter away from me. My motor skills are sometimes clumsy with cutting, so oftentimes the vegetables and fruit are cut too thick, or not to the point where the recipe expects them. When I made aloo gobi, my cauliflower was too large, the potatoes were undercooked, and the other veggies were just a pile of slop. Sometimes other dishes will not be entirely cooked and other parts will be burnt. Oftentimes I might hate the taste of what I’ve made, so ultimately I will act to not eat anything because I don’t want to waste money cooking then going out. I have been working out and live a much more active lifestyle compared to how sedentary I was in university. Walking around 10 hours a day has made me truly realize the feeling of hunger. An emotion I normally never felt due to stomach problems and perpetual nausea. I am very good at cooking breakfast foods, but do not want to eat French toast or Pancakes every single day. I’d like to add a broader spectrum to my breakfasts as well, as it is a quite small subset. I tried learning the cookiebookie latex package to write a cookbook as I went, but I gave up on trying to get it working. Formatting documents is an entirely different post. This is turning into a rant, but for those of you whose special interests are cooking and who have found a spectrum of foods that are nutritious and filling, what advice would you have for me? What cookware do you recommend? Is there a set of recipes you think would be good to introduce cooking techniques? My end goal would be to cook with mostly anything I have on hand to turn it into something delicious and nutritious. Protein rich meals, vitamins, minerals, calories, etc.
I'm looking into getting a therapy animal, a dog. This dog will be trained by a licensed companion animal training breeder near me. When I spoke to my landlord they said no pets including therapy animals. Is this legal at all? I'm in the United States. .gif unrelated
Hello again everyone, I’m very happy with the comments from the last post I made. Many of you had positive and constructive feedback about socializing. Made me realize that I’m generally overthinking the whole thing. I mentioned that I was a chatterbox with a tendency to delve too deep into things and talk about whatever spontaneously comes to mind. Usually I can hold a conversation for the first couple of meetings, but then I’ll be at a loss of words for relatability. When I thought more about why I can’t relate to others, it’s not because of any distaste towards people or their personal likes/dislikes… In fact, I would prefer to be viewed well in someone else’s perception. Generally treating others with kindness, complimenting specific items of clothing, jewelry, hairstyles, and inquiring about basic things like music, weather, architecture, outdoors etc. But when I look into myself… I went through life having mostly _no preferences_… For example, when asked where I’d like to eat, I have been trying to expand my preferences. However, most of the time when I eat outside of my selective food items (mostly bread-based with some cheese), food can be difficult to chew and swallow. My music tastes are broad, but I don’t usually seek out new songs, and have difficulty _discovering_ new songs. Let’s continue this conversation about socialization, and extend it to _preferences_, likes, and dislikes. The problem with having an identity that doesn’t revolve around external activities outside of the usual hyper-specific autie hobbies, I’d like to become more relatable, learn to discover new likes and dislikes, and overall gain the ability to do this. I’d imagine it would make life quite a sum easier to change my perspective, but sometimes my mind is blank and unable to seek things out.
How do you get other people to speak with you? Usually I never know what to say in response. Being a chatterbox hasn’t worked out too well throughout my life. Even in my second language, German, it’s evident im sort of a “parrot” when it comes to learned social phrases. Socially exhausted right now and feeling like an alien.
- Saturday: Event in town, with small kids, socializing - Sunday: Teambuilding event - Monday: Work strategy meeting - Tuesday: Held a presentation and socialized - Wednesday: Work strategy meeting - Thursday: Course w/group sessions, parents over for dinner - Friday: Work event, work event - Saturday: Museum trip, family visit Throughout the week, slow buildup of joint pain, feverish feeling, lack of appetite, swollen throat, buzzing head, torpor, lack of focus. Today I am just **broken**. These are all (for me) normal physical reactions to overextending myself socially or spending time in sensory intense environments for any amount of time. They are also symptons I would get if I caught the head cold that is going around. *It feels extremely silly that I have literally zero idea if I have a cold or not.* Anyway, treatment is same either way: Take it easy for a while. Mostly wanted to share my frustrating confusion and maybe hear if others have similar experiences and how they manage. :)
This is part strong recommendation and part wanting to know thoughts of others who have read it. :) Fern Brady is a scottish comedian who grew up with undiagnosed autism in a very catholic small town. It's a brutally honest and personal story, and she manages to write everything in a way that I found captivating. She can describe situations of absolute torture in a way that makes them seem both heartbreaking, and almost funny in their absurdity. Like a scene where she got recommended an app to help her with meltdowns and describes how she is crying and punching her fist bloody against her living room wall, while with her other hand opening an app and seeing suggestions like "think of a puppy!", "count to ten and think of the last nice thing you ate!" For me, the description of a years long struggle to push through a medical system with little and outdated understanding of autism resonnated deeply.
I'm not sure if anyone can relate to this, but I still wanted to get "my feelings out", so to speak. I'm a psychology student from Germany who's in a Erasmus+ year (basically an exchange year during university) in France. I think the topic of loneliness has accompanied me my whole life in one form of another, but right now I think it strikes extra hard. Generally speaking, I think I'm pretty socially competent - I have friends, a girlfriend, I'm member of a Nightline back in Germany. I know a good amount of people from uni, in Germany and France, and can have a nice smalltalk with them. However, I don't feel included in any specific group, here or back in Germany. I am not outright rejected, people are still nice when I e.g. sit down with them for a meal. I went to a bar with some fellow exchange students, or talked with them during lunch. But these activities drain a lot of energy from me, and I can't go to the nice places where people bond as a group. I can't go to parties or concerts, having lunch with other people already drains my social battery for the day. I hear them telling how they will go on a trip or a party, how they went to the city and had a nice time. Last time I was in the city I nearly had a meltdown when I got home. It just feels really lonely, as if all the people around me have fun as a group and I stand at the edge of the party, watching them as they enjoy themselves. I could walk up to them and have a drink, but I still wouldn't be part of the party, no matter what I really do or try, because I wouldn't be able to get in the same "fun mood" as them. This feeling of not belonging holds on the entire day right now. However, that doesn't mean I'm not happy or I can't do fun things; I absolutely can. I love it when I can sleep out and watch a nice movie, when I have a walk next to the river and listen to my podcast. I love exploring the city (with headphones!), or watching a dog play with a ball, playing PC or writing in my diary. There are nice things in my life, which I appreciate and value. However, all these things are things I do on my own or with another person. And whenever I'm in a group, I very strongly feel that I don't really fit to the group, that they are different than me. I already thought about joining up a group here, but my language barrier makes it extremely difficult, if not impossible, to do so. And with my fellow exchange students I don't really fit in, for the reasons outlined above. Overall, I just feel very lonely here. Like a little alien watching the others have fun, while I'm on my own somewhere different. Of course I still have fun, I do great things, but I do them on my own. I feel that I'm broken or wrong for not able to enjoy group things as much as others do, that some part of me which is supposed to function correctly doesn't work.
I'm sorry if this is the wrong community for this, my problem is prob more from BPD or some other mental illness I have than directly autism, though depression and anxiety are common in autistic people. I posted in a BPD community but it's pretty dead, I hope this isn't too off topic for here, I just really need some advice on this and Idk who to ask besides my therapist. My intrusive thoughts and mental state in general are a lot better now that I've had therapy and antidepressants for a few years, but one issue I still really struggle with is revisiting times when someone hurt me, intentionally or not, even if it's a resolved situation I'm not still mad about, and getting mad about it again. Below are two examples, you don't need to read them but it might help explain my problem. I did this a few months ago and drove away my fiance over a small mess she made in my place. She made it as a trauma response, we had a wonderful conversation about it after and I wasn't upset at her at all. But I managed to make it a huge deal in my head later, and since she'd said before she wants me to clean my space better or let her help clean, I thought she was a hypocritical asshole. I verbally abused her over text and made an ultimatum, saying she had to apologize for it or I wouldn't talk to her anymore. She left, blocked me on everything, and the engagement is off. We exchanged letters recently, and at least maybe we can still be friends again some day. A more recent example is with my dad. I was trying to quit cigarettes and take a break from weed, so I asked him to hold onto my ID so I wouldn't be tempted to get any since I'm kinda addicted and can't control myself when I can get a fix. We went out and about for a doctor's appointment next to a dispensary, and I was gonna be super proud of myself for not having gotten anything there. But my dad thought I might wanna get some weed, so he brought my ID. While he was getting weed, I spent 15 minutes wailing and trying to resist getting stuff, but I caved and got weed and cigs. I still feel really ashamed about my lack of self control, and I think that event really fucked with my mindset about quitting and made it a lot harder to try again. I don't want to be mad at him, and I've already talked to him about it, but I'm trying to quit again, and I already struggle a lot more with intrusive thoughts like that while sober, but I'm having a really hard time not protecting my shame onto him. I don't want to talk to him about it again, i think he already feels really guilty for sabotaging my quit and I don't want to drag that back up. Talking to the people I'm mad at about it can make me less upset, but I can't just bring up old shit like that every time my brain makes me upset about it. With my fiance I should've just talked to her about how I felt and we could've worked through it together, but that isn't the solution to most things like this, esp when they're already resolved issues. Tl;Dr I sometimes dredge up old memories of others hurting me and make myself upset about them again, and I really need a healthy way to deal with them other than just bottling it up or talking to them about it every time
Hi, I'm flying home for my birthday (moved out of state for work, then lost my job, and been unemployed for 4 months). My mom asked what I would like her to make me for my birthday dinner, and I have no clue what to ask for. I'm just at a loss because I don't know what I like. I'm not picky, but if left to my own devices would eat mueslix for months at a time. I hate feeling attention, and worst of all pity... But that is the primary feeling when I return to my mothers home. I feel lost and trapped, as more if my life falls through my fingers like a hand desperately grasping into dry sand. Everything feels wrong and I hate that I agreed to come home at all.
Like the title says, recovery from alcoholism has been pretty rough. I fucking love drinking, but the amount of times it's gotten me in bad spot is crazy. I haven't been formally diagnosed, but my last therapist was going to refer me because I have several traits of ASD ("high-functioning"). I just can't stand being around people. Like I just can't think around them because the sounds they make and the things they talk about drive me up the wall. Also the fact that "isolation" is a no no in these places, it's all about "community", so having time to myself to gather my sanity is hard to come by. Not to mention the anxiety of having to talk about myself. It's forced me to leave programs time after time and now it's all starting to make sense. I know that I can't blame all my problems on ASD (especially if I haven't even been given the diagnosis by someone qualified, and I'm sorry if this offends anyone) and I know that this 100% is on me and not everyone else. I'm running out of options and I'm starting to think that just living on the street is my only option. Edit: Also lately, I've been dabbling with methamphetamine. It's like everything I don't want to do is now possible.
Hi everyone. I was diagnosed with high-functioning autism at age 3. I am smart, shy, kind, and nice. Many times, people take advantage of me. I think this caused me to be bullied in high school. As the autistic brain is wired differently, it is impossible for me to fit into the mostly neurotypical (NT) world. I cannot make any NT friends as they all think I am 'weird' or 'odd'. All the NT social skills are very hard for me to learn. However, when I come on autism forums such as this one, I feel like I am welcomed, accepted, and understood. I feel that with time, I might make friends on this forum. I have some special interests such as electricity (plugs, voltages, electrical sockets/outlets), the battery health of electronic devices, and time (clocks, time zones). They are so intense that they are the only thing I think and talk about. Hopefully I will make some friends on this forum. Nice to meet you all! Yours Truly, SRSAutistic
I need headphones that only an audiophile would love. I practically LIVE in my headphones and almost never take em off. I also dont wanna spend heaping tons of money on em tho ;w; maybe a budget of like- 100-200 I guess... I dunno what do yall recommend?
I know I can over share. I know I say things way too "deep" for neutrotypicals. I know how I take small talk into big talk with just one sentence. What are ways that you keep yourself aware in conversation to just be casual. I imagine something small to fidget with that isn't obvious and I can use to keep me centered on being not so outright. Obviously I don't like wearing anything but maybe something like a normal but moving or spinning finger ring would help, I can always take it off. Is this something you guys experience, maybe recognize now, or have realized this behavior and have some mechanism to stay "normal"?
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.autism.place/post/311746 > *Recent* in this question is however you define it 🙂
It makes me want to crawl in a hole and never speak to anyone again.
i genuinely feel like my entire life and mindset have done a... at least a 90 by now, by somehow, somehow getting this hail mary pass off and setting this up. i can't believe this is real life it's very bizarre, i'm just shaking with anxiety and energy i just feel like she'll hate me upon first sight (this was thru an app) for some reason, she'll sense the autism, she'll know i'm off and the next hour will be awkward and she'll politely say goodbye. i mean, alternatively, it could go well, she could be cool. she seems cool which i suppose is why i did this. what is happening i cannot believe these are things that are going on in my life i feel like i was just in a major major hitting slump for 10 years, strikeout after strikeout and then also what if she ghosts me or stands me up like in the films. what then? add it to the list of failures and try to rebuild my self image? aghufasdf
I just really hate how my friends label me as a child, they are not 100% NT but way less autistic than me, yesterday she admitted they viewed me as a child, at first she stated that she viewed all of her peers as children since she felt she had more lived experience which is fine she can do whatever she wants. but then we met a new friend who she took a liking to and who she views as an adult, and recently on the way home our friend group got to talking about something and I asked something jokingly. She said rather seriously "Sky, there are some things that stay between adults" I reply I am legitimately a year older than you, she then said rather seriously not in any of the ways that matter. In general, there have been plenty of other times I felt like I was treated as a child, and generally, she and others have capped the level of closeness they have with me to protect me, which in practice only creates an environment where I do not have any close friends at all, I legit usually sob to myself in my room when and think about killing myself. I also understand I am a failure by most traditional metrics, no job, no car, no place, I have been trying to get a job for over 8 months, I wrecked my car 6 months ago, but I am not a fucking child. I regularly feel like people pretend to be interested in what I am saying since I am being viewed a child and most people do not want to be mean to a child, I just feel like such a loser in general and I really hate the fact I am autistic which is 100% why this keeps happening.
I have Special Interests (pixel-perfect UIs, the overall 'feel' of software, old computers, obsolete media like floppies, useless machines, etc.) that my brain finds extremely stimulating and rewarding and I'm able to devote hours to creating things that scratch these itches. Unfortunately neither the job market, nor anyone else actually, sees beauty there where I see it and so they will not value it (that includes financially). Meanwhile, there are other things like machine learning or cell biology that my brain is also very well equipped for but I don't spend time learning them because they don't draw me to them the way my SIs do (I have ADHD so the stimulation level of activities is quite decisive). This is a handicap because it leaves me fixated on several irrelevant things which I did not choose. How do you guys deal with this?
I'm looking for sleeping tricks and thought some other people here might have similar issues or good tricks. Can be anything from getting the motivation to go to sleep to actually tricks to falling asleep. My current trickbook is basically this: Podcasts, but it has to be in some goldilocks zone of interesting to enough to keep attention but not too good so it gets exciting. I've also done meditation in bed when falling asleep that tends to work. Consistent routine is good. Shower, brush teeth, lights off, episode, sleep. I'm curious to see what other autistic people are working with here.
Mostly asking for other people on the spectrum, but allistics are free to comment also.
Like - what do I write in the card? What the hell do I get them? They come up so quickly as well.
Mine in meme format    [Link to meme creator for convenience](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator/They're-The-Same-Picture).
I don't stutter or fuck up my speech over a text. cross-posted from: https://lemy.lol/post/30077456 > Stolen from [Mastodon](https://mstdn.social/@autism101/113005350282161433).
healthimaging.com
Brain enlargement may be linked to symptom severity in kids with autism spectrum disorder Specifically, social and communication symptoms appear to be more severe in children who display brain overgrowth on MRI scans. Experts believe this overgrowth may be associated with alterations in the activity of the Ndel1 enzyme, which is related to embryonic neuron differentiation and migration. Study: [https://molecularautism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13229-024-00602-8](https://molecularautism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13229-024-00602-8)
For some reason I find vests, and specifically down vests very comfortable. I know that some of you have problems with polyester though, so I'd love to hear about your comfy clothes! (I kinda wanna test out some new stuff)
cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/24388390 > Hi everyone, > > I’m reaching out to ask for advice and insights on how you manage emotional dysregulation. Lately, I’ve been finding it challenging to handle intense emotions, especially when they seem to come out of nowhere or are triggered by small things. > > I know this is something that many people in the AuDHD community experience, so I’d love to hear about any strategies, tools, or practices that have worked for you. Whether it’s specific techniques, coping mechanisms, or lifestyle changes, I’m open to anything that might help. > > Thank you in advance for your support and for sharing your experiences. I really appreciate hearing from others who understand what this is like. > > Looking forward to hearing from you!
I'm the father of a 6 year old boy diagnosed with autism when he was 4. He's considered non verbal although he has some stock phrases and sounds he uses daily. The thing is I'm worried if I've made the right decisions and I'm worried about his future. Will he ever talk more? Will he do well in mainstream school? Will he be OK? I'd be interested in hearing your experiences especially if you started as non verbal. Did it get easier for you? When did you start talking more?
Today I went to buy clothes. And I found one! I also found a store where they did an effort on the fitting rooms (two mirrors, large enough bench). But more interesting a wheel to dim lights. And I could dim it enough to a comfortable level.
I'm a grown-ass adult, and was diagnosed as being on the spectrum quite late; Aspergers wasn't even a valid diagnosis until after I had graduated from high school. So, haven't really had a lot of support. Just wanted to check in with other people - what does a meltdown mean for you, in terms of communicating? When I'm feeling emotionally overwhelmed, I have words in my head, but I can get them out of my mouth. If I try to write things down, I either have the same block, or I'll write, erase, re-write, erase again, and repeat tens of times until I give up.
sh.itjust.works
I recently conmented on a meme with a little personal experience and would like to know what you fine peoples take is? Thanks! (Link on top)
Am I crazy to assume that, if I tell one person but don't specify any particular privacy settings, they would leave it to me to decide when I disclose it to others? I guess I should get specific here. I was officially diagnosed a couple of weeks ago, as having autism spectrum disorder level 1. I have so far only told my mom, who I live with, and my best friend, who I suspect is also autistic. Today, I overheard my mom talking loudly on a video call to my brother and his wife, catching up and sharing their latest news. Apparently her latest news included the fact that I have been diagnosed with ASD. I hadn't yet decided how to go about having that conversation with my brother, and now I'm pretty upset that I don't get to make that decision. While I'm venting, she also mentioned that I've been less conversational lately, which she attributes to my diagnosis and to me no longer wanting to make the effort necessary to talk to neurotypical people (in reality, my chronic fatigue has been playing up lately, which always leaves me with less energy for conversation - she knows my chronic fatigue has been playing up lately, but apparently thinks I'm just choosing not to bother). Am I crazy to think she was way out of line to share my diagnosis with someone without running it by me? I'm also not sure how to move forward with this information in any way without it seeming like I was eavesdropping - which I wasn't intentionally doing, she was in the living room / kitchen area, I was heading down there to make myself a cup of tea (which I do every night at that time, in the room that she was talking in) and froze halfway down the hallway when I heard her sharing my confidential information. I didn't know how to deal with the situation so I just stood there for a bit and then returned to my room without making the cup of tea. If she had directly told me that she had told my brother about my diagnosis, or that she was bothered by me being less conversational, it would give me an opportunity to provide input on these matters, but as it is I don't feel comfortable raising the subject, or noticeably increasing my level of masking (to accomodate her apparent discomfort with me not doing so), without the eavesdropping issue potentially becoming part of the conversation and complicating matters. I'm also bothered because I have a tradition of once a year going to stay with my best friend for a while, and typically stop off with my brother for a few days when I pass through his city. Last year unexpected travel complications left me burnt out, so when I made the bookings a couple of months back for this year's trip, I made it as simple as possible, including skipping the stay with my brother. I haven't yet told him, and now I'm worried that he's going to take it as me no longer socializing with neurotypical family members (even though the arrangement was made before my diagnosis). The whole thing is complicated and no longer under my control because my mother decided to share my diagnosis and her thoughts about my behavior behind my back. Anyway, I guess I'm venting, and looking for input on whether this is as infuriating as it seems, and maybe advice on how to approach the situation.