Shitty Superheroes
Powers: - Can state the most painfully obvious facts at any given moment. - Always arrives just in time to tell people what they already know. - His catchphrase: "In case you didn't notice..." Weaknesses: - Completely useless in critical thinking scenarios. - Tends to annoy everyone around him.
SUPERPOWER: Is the ability to turn anything he touches into a participation trophy. His costume - it's a bright orange jumpsuit with neon green stripes and a giant "MEH" emblazoned on the chest.
SUPERPOWER: He renders his enemies emotionally responsible for his poor self image. Guilt tripping them into feeling it's their responsibility to heal him emotionally!
SUPERPOWER: Finding ways to martyr himself in the most trivial situations imaginable. Despite his best efforts to be a hero, The Martyrizer's constant need to play the martyr only ends up making everyone else feel awkward and uncomfortable.
SUPERPOWER: Muttering under his breath and leaving passive aggressive notes about how poor his enemies performance as villains they are on their car after conflict.
SUPERPOWER: He avoids fighting crime because he's afraid of confrontation. So he goes online and uses his solid iron thumb to downvote his enemies opinions online.
SUPERPOWER: Becomes incapacitated with fear inducing panic attacks rendering him helpless and convulsing on the floor at the sight of danger.
SUPERPOWER: Is having perfect grammar. He can fix any sentence structure or spelling error with a mere wave of his dainty wrist. But, he can only do it once every blue moon, and only if he's wearing his lucky pair of grammar glasses.
SUPERPOWER: Is the ability to change the color of his shoelaces at will.
SUPERPOWER: knocking the fuck out right when then town needs him to save the day.
SUPERPOWER: The ability to summon clutter and make a mess wherever he goes. He's a walking disaster, but unfortunately, his mess-making abilities aren't useful either. His clutter and messes usually trap him in a sectioned off space. Criminals finish their crime while he trapped for hours until the fire station comes to rescue him.
SUPERPOWER: The ability to make others slightly less competent at whatever they're doing, but only when he's napping.
SUPERPOWER: The ability to contort his body into the shape of a slinky, providing entertainment but no practical use whatsoever.