Wheezing and in tears.
Finished making a lot of gnocchi earlier and my lower back (might be my middle back only...Hard to tell) is killing me, and the stressed muscles have made me extremely exhausted. Tears just won't stop...And it turns out the first batch I made tonight isn't doing my GERD any good...Wheezing and a tightness in most my belly...
And one thing that has bugged the living hell out of me. I had given up on trying to be a husband to my wife back in early 2019, but the last few months she has been more playful than she has been the rest of the last 23 years. So that's ticking me off (Of course she's still not that kind towards me. If I have an opinion that she doesn't like, or she mistakenly takes offense to, pshew, I get snapped at pretty good).
And another, I'm still reeling from putting two of my pained kitties down. One was 14 the other 9-10. That was awful. The shots the vet gave them put them in more pain instead of letting them go peacefully. I still can't even mourn for them...One of the things I lost being with my wife (And I know it's because of how she treated me over the years. I didn't really get to mourn my father, uncles, an aunt, several cats, and two dogs because of it...I've tried, but just too hard to get the tears out).
God, it's so hard to breathe...God damned doctors...God damned politicians...God damn it...(The GERD started after being prescribed NSAIDs...And been fighting with it for almost a year and a half now).
End vent...rant... Agsgwadv (Cherokee for I'm done). Lilajes. (Tzotzil Maya)
Oh! Before I forget...(I'm writing this as a memory aid)...I want to get back to work on my geoscene program I've been trying to write. It's going to be an SVG image generator to create a series of images to turn into a video. Like the next image.
https://i.imgur.com/xGZFZTp.mp4
I want to do this for adding my flute music to as a relaxation/calming/zen type thing...I've got the ideas for lightening and a tornado, but pain and the strain from my marriage and my nephew living with us now has really ripped my mind in shreds...But I hope I can get it all done...I hope...I hope...