Pineapple not only belongs on pizza, but is superior to all other possible toppings.

I have extensive evidence to support this.

• doesn’t get stringy and stuck between your teeth
• so convenient - can be sourced from a can without being 10000% revolting
• vegan, vegetarian, and gluten-free
• choose your own adventure: fresh enzyme mouth tingles or gentle sweet tidbits
• as American as cheese on apple pie
• not green pepper