“This mockery of my primacy is an outrage.

I’m offended by the mere existence of this contraption.

Why must I endure this grotesquery?

I pity this fool and hate everything about him.

Yet, curiously, my intrigue is both utterly enthralling and unbearably delicious.”

Fuck that. Desperate times, desperate measures. I’d happily pay a doctor to knock me out with sedatives every night and a nurse to administer the drops on schedule while I dream of playing hopscotch with Hunter S. Thompson.

*gestikuliert weiträumig entlang der Theke

„Von allem von hier bis hier jeweils ein Stück bitte.“

The floor manager appears to have a different perspective.

He wants to have a productive conversation about cable management.

Ba dum tsss

Manlook!

Well, with that attitude, probably yes.

You want a toe? I can get ya a toe. Believe me, there are ways dude, you don’t even wanna know about ‘em, believe me. Hell, I can get ya a toe by three o’clock this afternoon, with nail polish.

Standard Issue Cat maybe?

fails

Bruh! Who takes these clowns and their clickbait headlines serious? The failure here is projection for their shitty „journalism“.

ZB stated perfectly clearly they will discuss it internally and make a decision in private and communicate it when appropriate. This is a levelled, professional approach and the opposite of failure.

Ist das die junge Angela Merkel?

Savage!

I fucking snorted. Outstanding!

The mental images of the consequences of running into, and then having to fight, a jaguar who’s high on ayahuasca is both hilarious and terrifying.

„Bro, chill out! The strawberry fractals are a mere figment of your imagination and can’t hurt you.“

„CHRAOW! CHRAOWOW!! Satayskewers!“

7

Nö, aber wenn du aufmuckst malträtiert und schikaniert dich das Amt sicherheitshalber dich bis du nervlich zusammenbrichst, andernfalls kommst du doch auf dumme Gedanken.