"Well maybe none of us would have agreed to carpool with you if we knew you were literally cursed by the gods"

Pfft typical

i

alternatively

Invisible text that your browser understands but humans don't? Yep that's a thing.

E: OK the title is fucking whack but the article is actually very funny.

Rubbing alcohol, big grain salt, dish soap, if anyone's piece is more of an oil lantern than a pipe right now.

Pauly Shore would be the best dad

Right? What fucking kind of win is this?

Hey everyone look I claimed to fix a problem that either didn't exist or was vastly overstated and to the extent it did exist it was due to my own incompetence!!

See no one cares.

Especially that Strega Nonna. I hearby denounce Strega Nonna.

*smiles without it reaching his eyes*

M'Isterandrist

Aren't ant colonies already basically a lesbian coven that only keep males around for breeding purposes? Or am I thinking of bees?

Did you hear that the KKK adopted a highway?

I am willing to donate a suit of armor and some glow sticks.

Yeah but if you were watching Nick at nite the whole time, why did the channel number flick on the screen for a second?

That's the most damning part IMO. People caught on to his infinite 2 years away self driving, so he shifted a bit and now a thing that is dependent on self driving is 2 years away. He lies like a child.

We can control the weather! It might just involve guillotining anyone who won't stop using a private plane.

Lmk what you think. I haven't seen showgirls but it sounds like it was working as intended since the author talks about using sex scenes to provoke a response to consumerism, if I've understood it correctly.

Yeah. It’s pretty hard to stay anonymous when you’re the world’s greatest secret agent.

Well calling yourself that can't help