traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns regularassbitch • 3mo ago • 100%

nope

no

chapotraphouse regularassbitch • 3mo ago • 96%

This is John Henry Brandon, your President. There are some things we should talk about.

they really hired a team of writers to become Brandon while he gets over "long covid". what the fuck what if he's already dead and they prop him up and use AI to make his face move on video like a grotesque present-day Weekend at Bernie's? i would vote for that

movies regularassbitch • 5mo ago • 100%

NEW YOUNG SHELDON SPINOFF!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

www.youtube.com

god is so good... this is what it's all about folks. they even got will sasso to come back! sheldonites and big bangers are feasting

badposting regularassbitch • 5mo ago • 100%

i recently went to a pride parade and saw a dude in full leather

he was dancing around all gay and whatnot and it was really pissing me off so i went up to him and i said "hey, you know how many cows died to make your outfit? you're a piece of shit" and he said "it's actually pig skin" which was almost worse in my mind until he showed me their badges wakka wakka wakka

fakenews regularassbitch • 5mo ago • 100%

Actor FKA Jack Nicholson transitions, changes name to Jenny, starts YouTube channel

genuinely so proud of her

Comics regularassbitch • 7mo ago • 100%

What are you reading? Megathread for however long it stays up

I figured it would be nice to get a thread up for questions and comments that people may think don't deserve their own thread. - What are you reading? - What did you recently read that was good? - What did you recently read that was bad? - Do you have recommendations? I just got done with Walking Dead (I know) and I couldn't help but enjoy the preview of Murder Falcon in the back of an issue. It's a story about a guy who gets the power to summon a giant muscly falcon with the power of playing metal. It's surprisingly heartfelt and bittersweet and it only runs for 8 issues so you can knock it out in a day if you really want to. I also really like the new Ultimate Spider-Man stuff they're doing. It's nice to see Peter happy but I can't shake the feeling that they're gonna ruin his life very soon. Honestly I'm happy when Marble does anything that isn't the same thing they've been doing for 30 years. Check out Ultimate X-Men as well if you like capeshit type stuff.

fakenews regularassbitch • 9mo ago • 94%

Fake News Megathread, January 15th to January 29th

Welcome to the first Fake News megathread, your biweekly coverage for the latest news exclusive to the imperial core. We want this to be a spot where anyone can come in, shit out a little snippet of an article you think is funny and collaborate with other dorks of equal caliber. ----- Sensitive documents have leaked online over the Nintendo game Splatoon 2. The highly classified documents which shared details of Israeli losses during their incredibly unpopular war with Hamas appeared as a drawing inside a speech bubble thought up by a player character who has now disappeared. The speech bubble contained a link to a pastebin with one paragraph of text identified to be a leaked message from a Hamas group chat; “sensitive documents - born to die - world is a f*** - 200 trillion dead IDF soldiers - kill em all 2024 - I am based man.” The IDF press team told Fakenews reporters “These numbers, although false, give an insight into the Hamas recruitment model. We know they've been using online games as a way to spread their propaganda and this game is no exception. We have asked Nintendo to shut the servers until the conflict in-game doesn't reflect the situation in Gaza.” A Nintendo spokesperson has denied any involvement on working with the IDF and claims “We will not be shutting down the servers and believe this was not a genuine leak.” When asked if they condemn Hamas, representatives for Nintendo responded “We condemn video game piracy.”

fakenews regularassbitch • 10mo ago • 95%

[TW: S**CIDE, M*RDER] Kissinger death being reinvestigated, detectives claim it was 'a copycat killing' inspired by David Carradine, Robin Williams cases

Almost 10 years after the autoerotic asphyxiation death of Robin Williams, police are combing over the facts of the case once more hoping to find clues. Henry Kissinger, war criminal and known dry jacker, was found dead in a Miami apartment belonging to a local journalist. His body was found hanging from a belt connected to a clothes rack in the closet, indicating autoerotic asphyxiation gone too far. Police were quick to close the case, but it seems that their haste may have slowed justice for the embattled peacemaker's family. At first detectives claimed Kissinger's death was a copycat suicide, inspired by actors David Carradine, Robin Williams, James Gandolfini and countless others. Now they're open to the possibility that there was foul play involved. Brooklyn, New York City. In a darkened apartment, Zelda Williams looks at crime scene photos hoping to find something that the police missed. She considers it one final gift to her father, nearly a decade after his untimely death. "It just doesn't make sense. He was Patch Adams, who would ever want to kill him, or fuck him?" Williams broke down in tears when she spoke about the gruesome findings: "I'm getting sick thinking about someone doing this to him. I don't want to blame the IDF but they're the only people with the means and the motive here. If it wasn't them, then who?" Benjamin Netanyahu refused to comment when approached by Fake News researchers. It's the same question investigators have. Detective Carl Alonzo has been investigating the case alone for over 5 years now and is convinced there is more to the deaths than meets the eye: "A common consistency between all of the cases is the lack of bruising on their necks. If any of them were still alive while allegedly jacking off there would be injuries consistent with blood flow. I think what we're seeing is someone trying to jack them off after the fact by manipulating their blood pressure." This begs the question: who would spend over 10 years harvesting cum samples from famous celebrities and murderers? Why are they doing it? Who is next? Are they drinking it? Boofing it? Perhaps cooking it into dishes and eating them at the world's loneliest dinner table? Whatever the truth is, this reporter hopes it comes sooner, rather than later. Denying this story its climax seems unbefitting of the subject matter. We will continue to update with more information as it becomes available